in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
If you’re ever depressed, just look at porn titles.
It’ll make everything better.
The da vinci load
if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited
great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die
THIS IS THE ONLY WOMAN WHO CAN STAND NEXT TO BEYONCE AND STILL BE THE MOST FABULOUS PERSON IN THE ROOM
scientists have figured out how to bring back dinosaurs
someone is building an exact recreation of the titanic
2013 is not gonna go well
that sounds like the beginning of an episode of doctor who
actually it sounds like two episodes at once
‘The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death’